Friday, November 26, 2010

Death Of A Disco Dexter

This came about through a short, 140 character limited twitter conversation between @blackpiano (Janice of The Smiths Project), @susmoz (My adopted Mozmother), and @quarrygirl (Of www.quarrygirl.com). I cannot, no I will not, spoil anything of season 5, but here is Death Of A Disco Dexter. Not a rap, mind you. Unless you can make it one. I'm saving that for another tomorrow, if it really comes.

The death of a disco Dexter
Well it happens a lot 'round Miami
If you think blood is a common goal
That goes to show how far he will go
The death of a disco Dexter
Well he'd much rather be involved
He always talks to his victims
He'd rather show them their wrongs
Blood, knives, M99
Blood, knives, and M99
Oh, plastic wrap
Garbage bags
Ocean floor
Send them to the next world
Send them to the next world
Blood, knives, M99
Blood, knives, and M99
Oh, plastic wrap
Garbage bags
Ocean floor
Ocean floor, nevermore
Send them to the next world
Send them to the next world
Blood, knives, M99
Blood, knives, and M99
Oh, plastic wrap
Garbage bags
Ocean floor
Ocean floor, nevermore

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Know It's Over - for Coco

Oh Andy, I can feel the execs standing over our heads
And NBC wants my show dead
Oh well, enough said

I know it’s over, still I cling
I don’t know where my show goes
Over…

Oh Weinberg, I can feel the network standing over our heads
See NBC wants to axe me
Zucker wants to pass me
Do you think they can break me?
Sad old Jay, just retire
Bigger chin, you won’t win
Smart, loyal viewers treat me kindly
You know they need me
MORE THAN THEY WANT YOU
Yet I know it’s over, still I cling
I don’t know where this show goes
Over, over, over…

I know it’s over
It never really began
But 5 years ago it was so real
Only 7 months, and I say
“If you’re so funny
Why do you do so poor at 10?
And if you’re so clever
Why do you do so poor at 10?
You think you’re entertaining
Yet you still do so poor at 10.
If you had such good ratings
Then why do you get so few laughs?
I know
Because The Tonight Show is mine tonight
That’s why your show’s so trite
With your chin and your cars
Always kissing Zucker’s arse”

It’s so easy to laugh
You’re so easy to hate
You don’t do so well in prime time
Over, over, over, over…

It’s so easy to laugh
You’re so easy to hate
You don’t do so well in prime time
Over, over…

Comedy comes natural and is real
But not for you, you suck
Not for Jay, you schmuk
Wit is natural and real
But you are so past your prime, I know

Oh Allen, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Parr, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Carson, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Dave, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Andy, I can feel the soil falling over our heads

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ma' Luv Life

Bitch come on ova' to ma place, yeah
Bitch betta' be bringin' sumtin' new, yeah
I kno ya luv me, but why cain't ya' grrl luv me too?

Give me a lil' somtin, yeah
Give a lil' somtin' 2 ma luvin'
2 ma luvin, 2 ma lovin', yeah

I kno ya luvin' me, but why cain't yo friend too?
Yeah me luvin' two, yeah yeah

Give me a lil' somtin, yeah
Give a lil' somtin' 2 ma luvin'
2 ma luvin, 2 ma lovin', yeah

I kno ya luv ma person so, why cain't yo friend too?
Oh herrr too...

Bitch give a'
Yeah give a'
Bitch give a'
Yeah give a'
Bitch give a'
Yeah give a'
I kno ya' want
I kno ya' want
Ya want 2

Ordinary Boyyeeeez

Ordinary boyyeeeez, day ain't kno nothin'
Ain't knoin nothin', but day be chill wit it
Ordinary hoes, jus da' plain old hoes
Day think it be trill ta' fuck witcha
Ya ain't like dem bitches
Ya's gots to be ya'self
Ya knew ya' couldn' hang
Wit those bitches no mo'
Dem' boyyeeeez
Ain't trippin', jus' crusin'
In day hoopdies
Ordinary hoes
Yeah day be blind
Cain't tell wherre day be goin'
Ya ain't like dem bitches
Ya knew ya' couldn' hang
Bitches try ta' change ya'
Bitches try ta' make ya' day own
Bitches keepin' ya in da' ghetto
Wherre day all live like pimps and hoes
All dem' lines cut right in front dem'
Day be trippin', day' be trippin'
Be trippin', be trippin'
(Ya' betta dan dat' son, keep it real)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Still Illin' (Still Ill)

Again, me, ruining great songs. Enjoy my rendition of Still Illin':


Yeah boyyyeeeeee check it
Life be chippin' away at me
Compton be mine! Be no mo killin'!
Why mine? Cuz I say it be so
Ya cain't be holdin' do's old dayes
Bitch no mo reminiscin'
Wherrr yo' brain been son?
Get yo' head out yo' ass
You be trippin'
In da' back yo' car I hit it
Now I got dem so' hips
Wadn't like it used'ta be
Just ain't da' same
Yeah I still be ill'in
(oooooooooooohhhhhhhh)
Yeah I still be ill'in
(ooooooh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Wherrr yo' brain been son?
Get yo' head out yo' ass
You be trippin'

Bitch please
Bitch don' be queryin' me
If ya' gotta punch dat clock tomorrow
Betta' off stayin' in bed
Day be betta' things out there
I been there!
I been there a bit
In da' back yo' car I hit it
Now I got dem so' hips
Wadn't like it used'ta be
Just ain't da' same
Yeah I still be ill'in
(oooooooooooohhhhhhhh)
Yeah I still be ill'in
(ooooooh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

(Speedway) Speedball

This was maybe the third one I tried. A few people requested that I take a stab at this, and stab I did. I still feel badly about tearing up this beautiful song. But, it must be done.


When dat hamma' be comin' down
CHECK YO'SELF!

Bitches be lyin'
Day' be holdin' me back
Don' be pointin' to me
I neva' said, I neva' said
Day' all ain't true

So when dat hamma' be comin' down
CHECK YO'SELF!
CHECK REEL LOW
DOWN TO THE FLO'
Don' be frontin' up on me
You betta' check yo'self, yeah yeah
And when you be tryin'
To hit up on ma' ho
Ain't gonna happen
Ho don' flew da' coop
Bitches be lyin'
Day' be holdin' me back
Don' be pointin' to me
I neva' said, I neva' said
day' all ain't true


Ya' ain't gonna catch zzz'z
Until da' gangs dat want ya'
Finally shoot ya'
Nah, ain't gonna get me now
Ya won't be restin'
Till dat' black Caddy comes fo' ya'
Yeah, I gotcha now
Ain't gonna show dat grill
I'll make it shut reel good
Until ya' be representin' six foot unda'

Bitches be lyin'
Day' be holdin' me back
Don' be pointin' to me
I neva' said, I neva' said
Day' all ain't true
All dos' bitches dat by lyin'
Hate mail, fate mail
Day' all ain't true
Day' all ain't true
Day' ain't all bein' true

I neva' said
I neva' said
I coulda' been a rat
I coulda' pulled yo' ass down wit me
Layin' unda' da' ground beside me
Only cuz ya' jus' be knoin' me
But nah, I took it, always bein' tru
I ain't bein' stoopid, jus' da' way I am
But nah, I took it, always bein' tru
Jus' da' sick way I am

Monday, April 20, 2009

(Now My Heart Is Full) Bitch I Cain't Take No Mo'

Off one of Morrissey's greatest albums, Vauxhall And I, comes the opening track Now My Heart Is Full. This is one of those that I felt bad for making a rap of it. It is such a beautiful song, and I am ashamed of myself as usual.

Bitch I Cain't Take No Mo'

Dae's gonna be hell in herr
I'll burn dis f***kr down
All ma ho's in da' crib
Gonna be chillaxin' reeeeel soon
Ya' dads actin' all lame ass
Yeah, yeah he kills da' mood
Ya'll leave da' room

Holla at ma boyyyyyeeeeeeeees
(yeah check it, we a tight nit group we is,
just my posse of bitches and hos)
Lil' Kim, Fiddy, Jay-Z, and J-Lo
Run from da' po-po
Ain't goin' no wher'
Beyonce' gonna have ta' wait
I hit it once, I hit it again, ohhhh

Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Not gonna tell ya'
Neva' eva' no how

Lil' Kim, Fiddy, Jay-Z, and J-Lo
Ghetto poets east side, west side
Crack ass hos cookin' up smack
Crack ass hos cookin' up smack
Don't get all up in day' bitnass - sit yo' ass down
I hit it once, I hit it again, and

Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Not gonna tell ya'
Neva' eva' no how

Don't do no drive-by
Don't do no drive-by
Yo' gonna do a drive-by
Don't do no drive-by
Don't do no drive-by
Yeah, check it

Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Bitch I cain't take no mo'
Not gonna tell ya'
Neva' eva' no how